Life with this has never been easy, I sometimes felt as if I had been placed with a curse. People telling me to stop making noises, stop grunting, moving, or just being me made me feel very alone. As time went on I have found ways to cope and try to be me and not let it get me down. Do those methods of coping always work? No, but I find it is better when I find peace in the things that I am passionate about. I have found solitude in my Art, purpose in my Music and I find rest and redemption in my God.
There were days that I did not want to get up in the morning. I wanted to stay in my house and not be around others. Until you find yourself wanting to be alone you never truly understand how isolating it can be to have something that people don’t understand. There was one day in 7th grade science class and I was struggling with one of my tics, this particular one was a grunting noise, and a fellow student proceeded to tell me to stop. I told her that I would try my best. I stopped grunting but I began to tap my foot and a couple of minutes later she then threaten to hit me if I did not stop making noises. I told her I was sorry and it is hard to control. She then told me I better control it.
I ask my teacher if I could go to the bathroom. I went into one of the stalls and began to cry. We all have days where one things sticks out. Some of these memories stay with you forever. People have no idea how much it hurts when we are hurt for something we cannot control.
Life is not easy when you have something that makes you different and stick out in a crowd. There are days when you do not want to face the world but if you do not face the world, you let the world win. So I will end with this, Tourette’s makes life’s situations difficult but life is always worth preserving through the trials that we face.